Identity Mapping

Hello all, my name is Zena. I am a 34-year-old white female who was raised by two very supportive and educated parents. My mother’s background is that of a white-collar worker whereas my father’s background is a blue-collar worker. Since both my parents were very supportive of my decisions and pushed me to be the best that I could be, I am educated as well and have worked hard for everything that has come my way. I attended the Art Institute of Philadelphia where I studied Photography; I transferred from that institution and finished my undergraduate degree at The College of New Jersey in art education with a focus in art history followed by a minor in art history as well. I see myself educated and only bettering myself with my current program at Penn State University; I believe that in pushing myself in education makes me a better person and educator.

Along with daughter being a title of mine, educator is my second title; I have been an educator for seven years now it’s amazing how time flies when you really love what you do. When I switched from photography over to majoring in art education, I remember my father telling me, “Zena, you only live once and the majority of the time you have in life is spent at your job. Do what you love, if you wake up in the morning and dread going to work, you need to leave it and find your passion.” I have always had that quote from my father in the back of my head. I see myself loving this title and position twenty years from now, it’s a blessing to be able to teach the future of our world and if I can touch my students minds just a little bit, I am content.

Wife and mother is my true title though, I have been a wife for six years and a mother for three years. I was fortunate enough to find my soul mate when I was a junior in high school. We went through high school together, the Marine United States Marine Corps and college together. My husband is truly my best friend, the one that I love more than anything and am so grateful to have in my life. My son is three years old now and something that is so special to me words cannot even describe the feeling that one possess with their child. He has been my strength in the toughest of times. He has been my medicine and healed me from the biggest loss I have ever encountered, my father. My son was born in July of 2013 and my father passed away in September of 2013 to bile duct cancer. Being so close to my father, I honestly didn’t think I would be able to get through the passing but with being a Christian and putting my stress and lack of knowing what to do in the Lord, the Lord responded with Andrew, my son to help heal me. He has been able to shed so much light into my life in everyway possible and even looks and acts like my father, that it almost feels like my father never left this earth.

In my identity mapping of myself, I included a charcoal sketch of a me, a pregnant me. This is how I see myself and how others see me. I am currently eight months pregnant with a little girl, we named Cora. Her arrival is something I look forward to and will add to the last title above, mother. Along with the explanation of my son and how important it was to have him in my life during that time of need, my daughter is coming at a time where I need her the most as well. She will complete our family and be the daughter that I have longed to have since I crave a relationship with a female for the rest of my life. I envision being the best of friends with her and being by her side whenever needed. Not only for me but for my husband too, I want my husband, Luke to experience the bond between a father and daughter like I was able to experience in my life. I find it to be very important to have that connection, especially from an early age.

The map takes you from me, Zena to many different locations on my body. Gray lines being something that has changed, whereas the black lines indicate the constant in my life. Zena leads to a constant of being a daughter, outgoing, white and straight. Whereas the changes have been, teacher, my age 34, art history, Christian, mother, a political view of independent, OCD and the symbol of my favorite band Pearl Jam. Explained above about titles, daughter, mother and teacher…however to touch on some other points of my identity to fully understand I feel is needed. The changes of my political views have changed since a child. I felt like I always followed my parents in their democratic views until I was old enough to make my own decisions and look further into the parties. I feel that I am more independent and small government, as I get older. The title of religion has shifted too, I was born and raised Roman Catholic, however in not being able to find what I was looking for in that faith, I have become a Christian that is spiritual in the sense of allowing other views to be welcomed, whether it be Buddhism, Hinduism or Judaism.